Forget about mind muscle connection for a while, and start training to get stronger. Of course good form is important, but exerting max force is also ultra important. You can do this effectively if you are trying to get a good contraction on a muscle. This is good for bodybuilding, but when it comes to gaining more strength, all you want to be doing is moving that weight as fast as you safely can, and using as heavy weight as you can. That is what results in increasing muscle mass too.
When you are doing heavy dead-lifts, or squats, do not be so concerned about contracting muscles. Just move the weight, and believe that the muscles are working. If they were not, you would not be moving the weight in the first place. Big exercises, and and generating force is the name of the game. To get stronger you better be moving weight that is pushing your muscles to work. We all know that with more strength comes more muscle. It is weird how many guys put this in reverse order, and do all of these isolation exercise to get a muscle pump while they are working out, all the while never stimulating any muscle growth at all. Switch over to all barbell workouts.
Blast out heavy weights, low reps, and do not go to muscular failure. No assisted reps either. You want to strength your central nervous system, not destroy it. You will never be able to properly recover from your training if you run yourself into the ground.
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